You’re nearing the end of the holiday sprint — hold on! You can make it! Here are six tips on how to survive some classic causes of last-minute holiday stress — and two reasons why it’ll behoove you to do so.

1. Should I break down and buy gifts? You’ve waited this long to buy gifts because, frankly, you’re among the nearly 10 percent of Americans on unemployment and you can’t afford them. Still, the urge to break the Visa out of the freezer is strong. Keep the card on ice, advise those responsible for both our mental and financial well-being. (If you tuned in yesterday, you may recall that according to a survey by Liberty Mutual, 35 percent of us say we will spend beyond our financial means this holiday season.) First, the mental argument for cutting back …

“If one has been unemployed … those close to them would know this, and unless they are completely cold and uncaring, they should not expect anything,” councils Lou Manza, professor of psychology at Lebanon Valley College in Pennsylvania.

Besides, Manza notes, with apologies to the three wise men, gift-giving isn’t at the root of the Christmas. “In addition, this season, ideally, is meant to be a time for family to get together — so just be with family members, help out/participate in holiday activities, and enjoy the company of loved ones.”

And, as Randy Bachman and others have noted, sometimes you simply have to look out for numero uno.  “Sometimes people need to look out for themselves,” says Manza, and if that means not buying gifts, don’t buy them.”

And the financial …

“There’s no shame in readjusting the scope of your gifts in order to avoid a sackful of debt,” adds David Reiser, a senior vice president of wealth management with MorganStanley SmithBarney. Besides, he adds, you’re likely spending more than you may think anyway.

“Whether you’re feeding your family, bringing a dish to the office potluck, or hosting an event, grocery bills can add up at an alarming rate this time of year. Don’t forget about the little ‘extras’ like the holiday tip for your hair stylist and mail carrier, or the gifts for the kids’ soccer coach or piano teacher. And those twinkling Christmas lights give your power bill a boost … .”

Instead of giving something you don’t have (money), advises Gail Madison, director of The Madison School of Etiquette and Protocol, give them something you do have in abundance: your time. “Babysitting, cooking a dinner, cleaning, yard work? The possibilities are endless.”

You could even make someone a hat! This gal I know made two alone last night — while watching “The Rockford Files.” Here’s her secret.

2. “So … .” Family gatherings are fraught with conversation minefieds, topics guaranteed to make Congressional bickering seem civil by comparison. Rather than open your mouth when the topic turns testy, open your ears, advises Dr. Paul Brinich, an adjunct clinical professor in UNC’s Department of Psychology with a private practice in Chapel Hill. “You don’t have to agree with someone to see that they may have good reasons. Be respectful of that. Hey,” he adds, citing the recent tax cut compromise in Washington, “if Obama and Mitch McConnell can get through a meeting, then maybe there’s hope for me and my mother-in-law to get along.”

Speaking of bickering couples, that raises perhaps the most volatile topic that may arise over the holidays: politics. Linda K. George, a professor of sociology, psychology and psychiatry at Duke, suggests a Barney Fife “nip-it!-nip-it-in-the-bud” approach.

“If you believe that a heated or unpleasant political discussion is likely to arise at a holiday gathering, you should tell family and friends ahead of time that you want a moratorium on political discussions for the holidays.” Remind them of the “peace and good will to all” thing, she adds.

If you find yourself in a situation where no truce has been prearranged? “Simply walk away from it — to another room, if possible,” she suggests. “ … it won’t be long until others join you for more pleasant conversation.”

3. Your mother-in-law got a good deal on airfare so she’s staying two weeks instead of one. Your husband announces he’s going hunting for one of those weeks. And please tell me those aren’t bed bugs. Your life is straight out of Fox’s Sunday night lineup — and that’s OK, says Debbie Mandel. “See your life as a sitcom,” advises the author of “Addicted to Stress: A Woman’s 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life.” If it helps, think of yourself as Marge Simpson, your youngest as Stewie, your teen stepdaughter as Roberta. And remember, “Cosby” was fiction.

Tomorrow: Five more tips, plus advice from the Countess.

The post Stressed? Nip it! appeared first on GetGoing NC!.

Sorry, that’s what I do when I get stressed — I babble, talk nonsense, confuse my blog with the blockbuster movie I envision making. Deep breath, count to 10 — better make it five, because really, who has time to count to 10 this time of year? So yes, over the next two days an expanded version of the story, which appears today in both papers.

Today, in a misery-loves-company gesture, I’ll share some survey findings on how your fellow Americans are dealing with holiday stress. These stats come from Liberty Mutual unless otherwise specified.

• 35 percent of Americans have spent beyond their financial means when buying gifts. 35 percent? An especially curious finding in light of the fact 42 percent of Americans in a SleepBetter.Org survey said they’re worried about how their going to pay their holiday bills.
• 61 percent of Americans agree that regifting is socially acceptable. If you’re tempted to regift, here’s a quick guide on how to do it successfully. If you’re in the fence, here’s an ethical take on the subject.
• 48 percent of Americans will buy fewer gifts this year. A dubious figure based on the amount of time it took me to park at Crabtree Valley Mall on Monday morning.
• 71 percent of Americans say it’s a good idea to establish a spending limit with those you plan to exchange gifts with. (The stat we’d like to see is how many people actually stick to that limit.)
• 73 percent of us stress over giving the “right” gift, according to FranklinCovey.
• 50 percent of Americans believe you should take into account how much the other person will be able to afford on a gift for you when deciding how much to spend on a gift for them. That’s either very thoughtful or very tit-for-tat.
• Stressed over who to tip for the holidays in a world where even the corner take-out joint solicits a gratuity? Here’s who we plan to tip in the spirit of the season: teacher, 55 percent; babysitter, housekeeper, hair stylist, mail carrier, all 41 percent.

• 

  $20 seems to be the consensus on an appropriate amount to spend on a holiday gift exchange.

• Most suspect stat we ran across: 86 percent of Americans plan to send greeting cards through the mail.
• Most compounding stat: During the holidays, already a time when people tend to overeat, 40 percent of adults in the American Psychological Association’s 2010 Stress in America survey said they overeat as a way to cope with holiday stress.
• First runner-up most compounding stat: 17 percent of kids surveyed said if their parents are stressed, that stresses them.
• 57 percent of Americans plan to give a gift to their co-workers, 42 percent will give a gift to their boss.

Photo at top: Ralphie appeared to have no stress over giving his teacher a rather lavish Christmas gift.

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